WARNING: FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF RANT COMING

This time of the year should mean happiness and love, but I can't help but feel like a grumpy ol' Scrooge. I feel like a grumpy ol' Scrooge most of the year. What's wrong with me? It feels like lately all I've been doing is complaining and feeling sorry for myself and all this crap. The other day, I was being a total brat and complaining to James about how Immi isn't coming to Houston (or Texas for that matter) and how she never has and how she probably never will and how unfair that is. I know it's no one's fault, but I was just being so poopy. It's just frustrating, knowing that the majority of the people who get to go see her don't even know the difference between her and Frou Frou. ARGH! Totally axe-worthy. Also, I've been doing a lot of working and then coming home and sitting on my ass. My life is so... boring. It just makes me sad and depressed about the future. I bust my ass in design for what? To get a job and work 8am-5pm, five days a week?

And on top of that, I really haven't talked to my friends in forever. Everyone is so busy, it sucks. And every lame attempts on my part to make contact fail. Kristy's been bumming out because Helen and I have been so busy with school, but now that we don't have school anymore, we're still not getting together. Joy's now busy with getting applications ready for grad school, Helen's super working, Kristy's working just as much, and I feel like a big hermit. The Pony's also been super depressed and I don't know how to help because I feel just as lame and crap too. And then the Maury... the one I miss the most... he's even too busy to reply to emails. Which in turns makes me want to shut myself off more from the world. I know I have nothing to complain about really, because it's my fault that I'm the one not calling up my friends and stuff. I just, I don't know what's wrong with me. I just need to suck it up I guess.. or stop complaining. Just more seasons crappings.

Happier Things:

Finally! The pictures I have promised are here. Here are some pix of the things I do at PDR. Crazy ass model building. Unfortunately, it's only pictures of two models. As soon as I can, I'll get a picture of our lemonade stand (we had to pack it up the other day so I couldn't get one). So without further adieu... 1. Tiny little chairs 2. Stacking model 3. Close up of the stacking model 4. The big model 5. Sarah with the big model to show you how big it is.

And now for a poem that Amy just found. It's a nice little poem. It almost redeems stupid boys for a split second.

bad poetry (a love poem)

vrai

the other day   (not this one)   i read a poem that somebody wrote about love.   it didn't really sound like a poem   it sounded confused   and it probably was, because love is as confusing as it gets,   except when it's not, but i'll get to that.       so here i am writing a poem   (or something)   about love   (or something)   just like a hundred thousand people   (and maybe fishes or cats, too) have before me.   we all try to make it sound like something new   and we all believe that it is.   i am inclined to believe, in fact   that my love for you is amazing   unbeatable   conquering       only its track record isn't so good so far.       no one has loved you the same exact way   that i have, and i will never   love someone the same way again.   i like the way i love you       i am as afraid of it going away   as i am of it staying       i wish i could understand   or i wish i could make you understand   i don't know what it is i understand   but it's something. i think love   (i think love)   is like something you realize   and then don't remember ever not knowing.   do you have a motherfucking phone number? i want to tell you things   not anything in particular really   just things, maybe about   girls who eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.   what i'm saying isn't important, just   that i'm saying it to you   and you're hearing it   somehow though i think you stopped listening   a long time ago       where is my love? i guess   it slipped past your heart and it's hangin' out   in your belly somewhere.   i want it back   maybe just a little bit?   if you don't have any of your own we can share mine.       all i am asking   is that you let me lay close enough to you   that i can feel you move as you fall asleep   all i am asking   is that you make my body feel   like it's doing something meaningful   'cause it really misses meaning something to someone   all i am asking   is that you   love   me       please

Now playing: Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round  

-- it's 80s-tastic!