AxeMaiden's Xanga

Monday, December 26, 2005

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 22:14:23 GMT

I've made my way over to the darkside, and that's where I shall be.

www.myspace.com/axemaiden

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 03:57:10 GMT

WARNING: FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF RANT COMING

This time of the year should mean happiness and love, but I can't help but feel like a grumpy ol' Scrooge. I feel like a grumpy ol' Scrooge most of the year. What's wrong with me? It feels like lately all I've been doing is complaining and feeling sorry for myself and all this crap. The other day, I was being a total brat and complaining to James about how Immi isn't coming to Houston (or Texas for that matter) and how she never has and how she probably never will and how unfair that is. I know it's no one's fault, but I was just being so poopy. It's just frustrating, knowing that the majority of the people who get to go see her don't even know the difference between her and Frou Frou. ARGH! Totally axe-worthy. Also, I've been doing a lot of working and then coming home and sitting on my ass. My life is so... boring. It just makes me sad and depressed about the future. I bust my ass in design for what? To get a job and work 8am-5pm, five days a week?

And on top of that, I really haven't talked to my friends in forever. Everyone is so busy, it sucks. And every lame attempts on my part to make contact fail. Kristy's been bumming out because Helen and I have been so busy with school, but now that we don't have school anymore, we're still not getting together. Joy's now busy with getting applications ready for grad school, Helen's super working, Kristy's working just as much, and I feel like a big hermit. The Pony's also been super depressed and I don't know how to help because I feel just as lame and crap too. And then the Maury... the one I miss the most... he's even too busy to reply to emails. Which in turns makes me want to shut myself off more from the world. I know I have nothing to complain about really, because it's my fault that I'm the one not calling up my friends and stuff. I just, I don't know what's wrong with me. I just need to suck it up I guess.. or stop complaining. Just more seasons crappings.

Happier Things:

Finally! The pictures I have promised are here. Here are some pix of the things I do at PDR. Crazy ass model building. Unfortunately, it's only pictures of two models. As soon as I can, I'll get a picture of our lemonade stand (we had to pack it up the other day so I couldn't get one). So without further adieu... 1. Tiny little chairs 2. Stacking model 3. Close up of the stacking model 4. The big model 5. Sarah with the big model to show you how big it is.

And now for a poem that Amy just found. It's a nice little poem. It almost redeems stupid boys for a split second.

bad poetry (a love poem)

vrai

the other day
(not this one)
i read a poem that somebody wrote about love.
it didn't really sound like a poem
it sounded confused
and it probably was, because
love is as confusing as it gets,
except when it's not, but i'll get to that.

so here i am writing a poem
(or something)
about love
(or something)
just like a hundred thousand people
(and maybe fishes or cats, too) have before me.
we all try to make it sound like something new
and we all believe that it is.
i am inclined to believe, in fact
that my love for you is amazing
unbeatable
conquering

only its track record isn't so good so far.

no one has loved you the same exact way
that i have, and i will never
love someone the same way again.
i like the way i love you

i am as afraid of it going away
as i am of it staying

i wish i could understand
or i wish i could make you understand
i don't know what it is i understand
but it's something. i think love
(i think love)
is like something you realize
and then don't remember ever not knowing.
do you have a motherfucking phone number?
i want to tell you things
not anything in particular really
just things, maybe about
girls who eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
what i'm saying isn't important, just
that i'm saying it to you
and you're hearing it
somehow though i think you stopped listening
a long time ago

where is my love? i guess
it slipped past your heart and it's hangin' out
in your belly somewhere.
i want it back
maybe just a little bit?
if you don't have any of your own we can share mine.

all i am asking
is that you let me lay close enough to you
that i can feel you move as you fall asleep
all i am asking
is that you make my body feel
like it's doing something meaningful
'cause it really misses meaning something to someone
all i am asking
is that you
love
me

please

Now playing: Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round

-- it's 80s-tastic!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 04:11:40 GMT

The recycling bins will be back tomorrow.

Haha! I've always wanted to start my blog off with that after the first month Myles had not updated his xanga blog. I believe we're running on the 5th month of entry-less blogs. Nice. Well, what do you expect from a Prairie Boy? They're untamable, they are. Although, I do find it suprisingly easy for them to be undeniably devoted to Ultimate Fighting.

I finally got to work on time today!! Huzzah! I'm back on track. It's been difficult these past days, especially after the end of the semester and not having a day off really. Work was fine, we started archiving all the drawings that needed to be sent to storage. Not fun.

Anyway, watched this movie ( ^ ) tonight. It was really good and sad (of course). It had the dude from the Phantom in it, he makes a better 'Mr. No-name' than 'The Phantom' or if you'd rather, O.G. And now I've seriously lost my train of thought. I've actually just remembered that I need to look online for Morris's grade. I just hope I passed the class.

Now playing: The Bealtes - With Love From Me to You

-- please don't fail me Morris!

UPDATE: I got a B- in Morris's class! Huzzah! I was afraid I was going to fail the freaking class. So my grades stand thus this semester - Morris: B+, Stevesie: A, Angi: A, Jackie Barry: A-, Richard: B+, and Prmitivism in Modernism: B+. I guess that's okay, but I still want an A in Richard's class a B is just.... grrrrrrrr. As for Morris, I'm glad I passed and don't have to see his pony tail OR Mr. Man ever again.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 03:40:45 GMT

Went to see The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe last night with the Pony. It was actually a really nice night, cuz I went to Casa de Conkin after work and she had dinner for us and we ate while watching Rachael Ray be annoying and I fed Judi my cooked carrots (I hate cooked carrots!). Then we snuck out to see the movie, because Jenny was suppose to see it with Erin and we didn't want Erin to know we were going. After sitting through crap kid trailers and having to deal with Mr. Man next to me breathing loud and moving around through the whole movie, we got to see it. It was pretty good actually. There's nothing I can complain about, they kept it quite true to the book. And yes, Edmund was just as annoying, and Mr. Timulus was pretty cute (for a faun) although he reminded me of Scott Gaines... it's probably the strawberry blonde hair and goatee action. Oh, and the way he presses his lips together and crap.. aww I miss him, too bad he's a HUSSY!!

Today was a pretty crappy day all together. I was planning on getting to work on time this morning, didn't happen. So I strolled in at 9, which really didn't matter anyway because it's not like anyone knew I wasn't there AND, I was actually walking behind some guy that works at PDR too, to the elevator. When I got to East, everyone was already in a bad mood and Candice was hung over as hell. It was pretty bad, Boss Man had to bring all his drawings down to East and pull up CAD to look at the drawings, everyone was being mean to each other and the model we had to build was pissing us all off. I was mostly mad because we kept having to redo or fix the stuff we already built, which wouldnt have happened if the architects would have gotten their shit together and gave us the drawings that were done correctly. How can you not know what this thing looks like and expect us to build it!?!? Just another pillar of reassurance that I won't have a problem in the real life world of design. I mean, they couldn't even give us a floor plan with a North symbol or elevations that were labelled correctly! And yes, it's too much to ask for line weights. Every piece of paper they give us, I just want to redline and give back to them. Sarah thinks I should; I think I'll get fired if I did - "Tiffany, you gotta go."

And to make matters worse, Richard gave me and Jenny a B+ in his class!!!! RAWR!! Flaring nostrils and fire eyes! We're going to have to have a talk with him and have him change our grades. It's just unacceptable! I need all the A's I can get to balance out the crap grade I know Morris is going to give me. One more semester, one more semester.

Now playing: Bright Eyes - Take It Easy (Love Nothing) and The Beatles - I Will (it just changed on me)

-- sleepy mcgee

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 05:03:17 GMT

This is what I want for Chritmas. Look at how beautiful it is and it's called, Vespa: Style in Motion. How is that not my book? I looked it up and it's on Amazon for $11! Unforntunately, all of the copies I found online are paperback. I believe the copy I saw at Kuhl Linscomb was hardback. I'll have to doublecheck on that, if so I'll just get Guillermo to hook me up with his discount.

So today turned out to be a totally diferent day than planned. After declining Sarah's invite to go to Chris Martin Not the Singer From Coldplay's end of the semester party/get-together/shin-dig/drunk-fest last night, I went home and worked on all the Christmas presents I still had to make - I really screwed myself over by declaring to handmake the majority of my presents. This morning I woke up feeling super nasty and decided it wouldn't be a good idea to go to work, especially since the Model Team has turned into the Clean and Box Everything Up in Preperation for the Office Remodel the Week After Christmas Team aka The Office Bitches. I figured all of the extra laboring and dealing with dustcovered books, models, and materials wouldn't be good for my current health, so I stayed home in hopes of resting up before Jenny's Christmas party tonight. At least I got some presents made while sitting around on my ass, but my condition turned for the worse when I drove my brother to the park so he could play football with some friends and as I went to the art store to pick up some last minute items. When I got home, I just started burning up. I don't know why, maybe it was the shock of the cold air and me just wearing my pajamas to the store.. whatever it was, I couldn't make it to Jenny's Christmas Party. That's two years I've been absent so far.... looks like this will be a nice little tradition we have. Sorry Pony!!

I decided I'd be brave today and check my grades for this semester. Unfortunately when I checked, out of 6 classes, I've only gotten grades back for ONE class. BUT, it was Angi's class and I got an A, so booya!! Although, I don't know how anyone couldn't get an A in that class - except for Kevin, he surly doesn't deserve an A if he doesn't even care to show up half the time.

Hopefully tomorrow will find me feeling better and able to go to the Basquiet party at the museum with Guillermo and Jane, but from the looks of it I don't think that's happening. Oh well, I guess it's good because that'll force me to finish up Christmas presents. This is going to be a crochet-tastic Christmas. Speaking of.... you know how every year of your wedding anniversary is a special type of anniversary (i.e. paper, gold, silver, etc.) - I wonder if there's a crochet year. THAT would be awesome-tastic!! Ya... I'm special.

Now playing: Immi - The Walk (Live)

-- where have all my striped socks goooooooooooooooooone?

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 03:30:33 GMT

Such an excellent movie. Watched it today. Great acting, great cast, sad, sad, movie. Plus! Before the movie, they showed previews to lots of movies I thought looked good, including a Frenchie one who's cinematography may rival Amelie's ( - I KNOW!). This movie also made me want to go rafting on the river, except our river trips never end up like this one.

And HUZZAH for the end of the semester! Done with Morris's final, done with Richard's project, done with this crappy crappy semester! And today I cleaned out my desk and pantry - it feels good to clean after you've accomplished something. Next on the list of things to clean, the piles of stuff I have in the living room, my room, my desk, and my car, and most of all (which I'm itching to get to), iTunes cleaning!!

Besides all of that, nothing's been going on as of late. This morning I woke up with a nasty neck ache - ya, I was sleeping all retarded on my pillows. Half way through the night I was 1/2 asleep and was like, "I should move my pillow, this can't be good for my neck." And then said to myself, "nah" and rolled over and continued to sleep. Sadly, that poor choice led to a nastily sore neck the next day which resulted in a nastily aching head all day. It feels like its getting better though - if it doesn't, I'll just call Brad and he'll tell me how to fix it.

I also went to the art store (yes, again) today and got stuff to wrap the Coffee-tastic gift I got for the PDR white elephant gift exchange. It looks pretty good, but I'm going to need to put some finishing touches on it tomorrow (pictures on the way). I also got the Krew presents purchased and wrapped. I just need to send off some gifts in the mail, finish making a couple more and wrap and I'll be good to go. Hopefully I'll get that all done in two days, we'll see though. But for now, it's all yawns for me.

Now playing: The Reindeer Section - Budapest (I don't get why this song is called Budapest)

-- eh macky?

Monday, December 12, 2005

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 03:38:14 GMT

I totally want to make a Gryffindor scarf. Haha. Of course, that'll have to be added to the long list of things I want to (and should) do, which includes but is not limited to: painting, working on portfolio, sewing, cleaning up my iTunes, and all sorts of fun things.

Today was my last day at the 'Bux. After I got off, I had lunch with Joy and then attempted to go to Best Buy to get CDs for everybody's Christmas present. I have officially given up on the West Oaks Best Buy! They didn't have any of the CDs that were on people's Christmas list. I'm going to try the other one by my house and if they don't have anything that is it. My relationship with Best Buy will be OVER! Trusty ol' Amazon will be my pillar (or mayhaps... pi-las-ter < for Morris) for CD purchasing needs - although getting stuff shipped during the holiday season sucks big monkey butt.

I can't believe it's only Sunday. It feels like an eternity since I last posted, but that was just before the PDR Christmas party. Which was nice actually. I was thinking I wouldn't have any fun, but it wasn't too bad. I got to meet Ami's husband, and Tom's British wife (Jenny wasn't that impressed with her), Malini's Dutch boyfriend whom I wanted to call "Dutch" and a few more people. We talked to Angi and Jackie who were there, of course, and The Captain was downing those glasses of wine. And the food... oh the food. It was like a smorgesboard (sp? eh?) of meats. They litterally served like a plate of every animal on the entire planet and everything was cooked rare. The lambchop was like.. it didn't even look like they cooked it - it was that bad. I mean, even I was turned off by the lamb chops. ME! LAMBCHOPS!!

So I drop Jenny off at her house and drive home and am seriously 5 minutes from home before I remember she had my wallet in her purse, so I had to bang and U-ey and go get it from her (roughly 30 mins away). So the end of my evening was full of driving around at midnight.

But today was nice. It was full of sleep and Christmas scarf making. I'm almost done with one, that means 2 more to go. I hope I get them done in time, they're going to be UBER hot because they're going to be GRADUS scarves. Oh yes my friend, that's right!

Now playing: Cosmicity - Awake

-- freezy mcgee

P.S. I miss my prairie boy friend.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Sat, 10 Dec 2005 23:29:01 GMT

You make me feeeeeeeeeeeel so happyyyyyyy so reeeeeeeal. Oh Milosh, how I know this is true. If you don't have the album, get it! I got mine for like $4 off amazon.

So today was spent up at school taking Morris's exam which we all aced, of course. Huzzah for BADCIGHEF! Then team VespaPony got all of our shit printed for Richard's class pushing us into the lead for getting our stuff done. All we have to do is print the folder and cut it out and glue that bitch together and we'll be done. Of course, that can't happen until Monday because the plotter was acting up and Joe wasn't there to save the day. Sadness.

So after Ana complained profusely about her stomach eating itself, the ladies and I headed to lunch at Paulie's and had to park two freaking blocks away. So we walked to the restaurant, all got broccoli, and made no attemps to get cookies - even though Paulie's cookies are YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM. Jenny gave us a 'High Five' for being healthy. Afterward we had to go by Kuhl-Linscomb because I had to drop off Guillermo's phone to him and he showed us around - even though Ami and I went there yesterday to look for stuff for the PDR White Elephant Gift Exchange. I showed Ana and Jenny the aaaaawwwweeeesssssoooommmmeeee Vespa book there. It's hot man. Giney juicing hot!!

Off to the village and the bead shop it was for us and I racked up a good bill. And to the artstore where we all racked up a good bill, and then to Copy.com so Ana could get SPECIAL PAPER for Richard's project for her team. Now I'm at home, online, writing this beautiful blog and getting ready for the PDR Christmas party tonight at Gravitas!! Jenny's my date as there are no men in my life. And no men shall come. And I will have to live in a duplex with Jenny and we will have matching cankles, lifesaver-candy-tastic sweaters, and scrawny cats. Oh well, the party should be fun away - we might get to meet Tom's British wife!!

Now playing: The Beatles - March of the Meanies

-- my arms are cold

Friday, December 09, 2005

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 04:19:25 GMT

After waking up late (again), today was spent in the computer lab with 1/2 of the senior studio finishing up the semester with Richard's project. Diligently working, the Pony and I are done except for printing, which we shall do on Saturday after Morris's test. This is one of the sinks I picked out from Kohler (isn't it hot?), sadly Jenny veto'ed it. Oh well. But we've realized that interior design IS a luxury for the rich as we found out that even a simple bed can cost well over $4,000. Maybe a lot of it has to do with just our simply above average taste in products, whatever it is I'm glad I'm doing the designing and not the paying for.

The Pony and I also went out to dinner with Michelle and Guillermo. Barnaby's it was!! Oh I heart Barnaby's, and we got the same waiter as always Joe-look-a-like, who's name later turned out to be Brian after Guillermo not so smoothly asked another waiter for his name. But Joe-look-a-like, I mean, Brian gave us all complementary cookies which was awesome because who doesn't like cookies? Especially the cookies at Barnaby's - they're chocolate-chip-tastic. After dinner, Jenny parted ways with us to go home to watch the OC while the other two and I went to the coffee shop on Taft Street. Guillermo said that if Mr. Man-Homo-Asian-With-An-Attitude was there we'd walk out, but he was there and we didn't walk out. He was actually trying to be nice to us this time, and we had a nice sit down and talked about the up-coming semester.. it'll be fun (methinks). Strangely enough I ran into Erin who was studying with Fred at the coffee shop and talked to her a bit. Then Guillermo, Michelle, and I decided we'd form a band for the Taft Street Cafe open mic night. Guillermo's lead singer while Michelle is on cowbell, and I get to rock the keyboards. We'll start out with "She Looks Like a Girl (Who Got Hit On Her Leg)," but we really don't have anymore songs after that... except for a song in the works about Joe entitled, "The Tech Guy." It'll be a smashing success.

On the way home, I dropped by Hobby Lobby and bought $30 worth of yarn and felt for Christmas presents. So now I'm crocheting scarves and talking to Amy - sorta. This winter vacation seems promising with portfolio working and art making.

Now playing: Hanson - Penny & Me

-- oh, penny and i WILL roll the windows down hanson. we sure will!!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Wed, 07 Dec 2005 04:15:26 GMT

Well, the semester’s almost at an end. Jackie’s presentation was yesterday and she brought in crazy ass jurers to critique us. My presentation went okay, and they were really nice, but kinda made me feel bad when they were asking about my plan and saying that I had good ideas but it needed to be developed more, which of course made me feel quite shitty. And of course with all the built up stress from this crappy, crappy semester, after our group was done with our critiques, I just broke down and cried. Mainly because I was extremely disappointed in myself for having a plan that was questioned and mad that JB didn’t point it out to me, or said “that won’t work,” or anything for that matter. And then that just made me question if I was even a good designer, and heightened my confusion of where I should be in 6 months when I have to face the real world. Well, after Angi and the group talked about the different critiques (because the jurers in our room were extremely nice and the jurers in the other room were extremely critical about the design and architecture), Angi came up to me and asked if I wanted to talk… so we went to the graduate room to talk. I just told her about my stress and my concerns about being a designer and about my design and how I was disappointed in the program thus far because I feel like they haven’t really pushed me to design. Angi said she understood because I valued design so much, that it was probably really hard in Jackie’s class this semester because the design wasn’t as important as I wanted it to be. But she did say that I was a good designer and she thinks I can be a really great designer and that it was in my instincts because I got into block purely on my talents - that I didn’t take the Design Technology class to refine my design, but that I already had it. She also said it was hard as an instructor to teach 15 very different people with different strengths, and she was sorry that I didn’t get the guidance I needed because I (along with some others) were at a different place design-wise than the majority of the class. But she said it would be better next semester because we’ll be able to focus more on design (more on that later). So she said that I wasn’t feeling good because I needed sleep and that I should go home and sleep and I would feel better – and I do, although I still feel like I need to step up my game, but there’s no one to blame for that but myself. So this holiday break I’m going to work hard on my portfolio and redo some stuff, mainly GRADUS – but I’ve already got some great ideas for that.

So it’s safe to say that next semester, Michelle and I are going to the graduate studio. That means more time with Angi to refine our design and do some independent study. Which I am sooooooooooooooo excited about because we’re going to be doing some REAL designing now – and there’s a chance that our designs could actually be built because we’re going to be designing a new sculpture/graduate building. I’ve already got some ideas of books to look at and it really sounds like what I was hoping to be doing in the senior studio – which didn’t really pan out that way.

So the end of the semester saw sorrow and woe, but also the beginning of a new change, and hard work ahead. But for now… sleepytime.

Now playing: The Strokes - Last Night

-- snotty mcgee